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So The Weston Cage Story is Entirely Different Now

When the Weston Cage getting his face punched-in 13 times story first broke, initial reports suggested he got into a dispute with his personal trainer who wouldn’t let him order something at a restaurant. Turns out it wasn’t his trainer but a man named Kevin Villegas who’s paid by Nicolas Cage to keep an eye on Little Lord Gotheroy who apparently went missing last week. TMZ reports:

But Tuesday, when Weston went M.I.A — sources tell us Nic dispatched Kevin to track down the 21-year-old and bring him home. Kevin quickly located his target in L.A., but we’re told, Weston was resistant and aggressive — even threatening to rip off Kevin’s “Christian fucking head.”
Sources tell us Kevin immediately reported the situation to Nic … who instructed Kevin to call 911. When Weston realized cops were on the way he flipped out and attacked Kevin with the roundhouse kick.
We’re told Kevin — who served with the U.S. military — feared for his life because Weston is a highly-trained fighter … and attacked Cage with a flurry of punches.

So, basically this story went from Weston Cage getting his ass kicked by his aerobics instructor for not ordering a salad to Weston Cage getting his ass kicked by his babysitter for running away from home. Jesus. How soon until we find out he puts on a blonde wig and becomes Taylor Momsen? Because that’s really the only place left for this to go.