;

Jonathan Rhys Meyers Attempted Suicide

“I was merely attempting palaver with the dead. Leave me to my dark arts!”

Tudors star Jonathan Rhys Meyers apparently attempted suicide Tuesday night, according to The Sun:

Paramedics answering a 999 call found him slumped on the floor. But they had to call police after he refused treatment at the scene for more than 30 minutes. A source said: “This is very sad. It was the opinion of those present that he tried to take his life.”
The 33-year-old – who has been battling a drink problem – was finally taken to a hospital near his home in Maida Vale, Central London, on Tuesday night.
He was discharged in the early hours yesterday. Asked later how he was, red-eyed Meyers told The Sun: “No comment.”

Wait. Do the British just let people out of the hospital mere hours after they attempt suicide? Because they’re either light years ahead of us in therapy or adopted our intrepid spirit of not giving a shit.

DOCTOR: Right, so we’re not goin’ try this again, are we?
JONATHAN: Bob’s your uncle.
DOCTOR: Brilliant. Now be a good chap and try not to swallow any pills. Off to the pub with ya. Spit spot!