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Lindsay Lohan is Giving Exclusive Interviews During Her House Arrest

In between parties, shooting commercials, trying to escape and making bikini movies, Lindsay Lohan somehow found time to indulge Life & Style with an interview about how really, really hard house arrest is, and that it’s taught her a lesson. For real this 18th time.

On the sacrifices:
“I was really upset not being able to go to my little brother’s birthday party. He just turned 16. That bummed me out.”

On how she’s so totally working and doesn’t drink anymore:
“I’ve been having a lot of work-related meetings. Sometimes my friends come over. And I get to see my sister, Ali, which is nice. … When my friends come over, they’re not drinking. Alcohol is not in my house, so it’s just not a part of my life.”

And then not ruling out drinking at nightclubs not even five seconds later:
“I don’t think you should ever say never.”

Yadda yadda learned her lesson blah blah blah:
“This may come as a shock, but I mean it: I want to start my community service. I want to finish that so I can work in August and September. You go through experiences. I do understand that I need to gain some of the respect back, but I’m willing to work hard for that. I understand the situations I’ve put myself in, and I don’t want to go back to that.”

I love how Lindsay claims there’s no alcohol in her house and then follows up it by saying she’s going back to work in August. If someone lit a match at that exact moment, her breath would’ve caught on fire. You did a commercial for Beezid.com, you crazy drunk. You might as well have made a YouTube video claiming the Holocaust isn’t real and then stabbed a gay baby in the face because let me tell you what conversation isn’t happening no matter how many times it plays in your head:

PRODUCER: Hey, did you see that girl on the Beezid commercial? We should risk an entire film production on that.
STUDIO: And pay her in cash!
SAMANTHA RONSON: And my hand in marriage!
MICHAEL LOHAN: And this document proving she’s adopted!