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Jennifer Aniston Was Hot This Decade, Says Spike Awards Show

Wait. Is that the birth control patch? I’m gonna allow this.

Jennifer Aniston received the Decade of Hotness Award at The Spike Guys Choice Awards Saturday night and showed her appreciation by entirely skipping the red carpet and only appearing for the few minutes it took to pretend she gives a shit. Granted, I have no idea what she said because the show doesn’t air until Friday, so let’s just assume she made what she thought was a clever jab at Angelina Jolie. I’m thinking something like, “Hey, maybe I should get a tattoo of this, or are those only cool if they’re of stolen children?” That or she just stood there while her nipples got hard on command. It’s a coin toss.